Journal for March!

 I was on a mountain top from December through January and was working at a rehab in Kansas City. I had recently realized that I could prophesy and spent every single day asking the Lord to guide me around granularly. I would ask: where to go, what to do, who to talk to and what to say. I am a walking evangelizer and exhorter powered by the holy spirit.

I woke up in the middle of the night one night on January 17th. I got the strongest urge and couldnt shake the feeling that I need to go to Wichita. The idea came to me to go on a greyhound the first one out in the morning. I messaged my mentor at 5 am and asked him to pray and give me advice. He told me “May the Lord direct you where He would have you to be.”

I packed all my stuff and quit my job and packed up all my stuff and threw away what I didnt need. Just clothes and the money in my pocket about 1600$ I had saved up. I hopped on a greyhound bus and immediately at the greyhound station there was a man that I knew that was going to Wichita as well. He was a deaf person I made friends with at the Shelter.

On the greyhound ride I was super filled with the spirit just overjoyed and talking to the Lord and praising him in my mind. There was a man on the bus that ended up missing his stop and he was trying to go to his sons funeral. It was sad and I was able to intercede with him and pray with him and exhort him to get peace that he could continue on with the Lord despite losing his son. 

These few experiences let me know that the Lord was definitely with me and I got the vague idea that I needed to go back to the valley instead of continuing to be on the mountain top. So that I could grow. 

I went down knowing that my pastor had a sober living house in Wichita that I could join. I stayed at the homeless shelter for 3 weeks and ran into so many people I used to use drugs with and ended up trying to encourage all of them with my new found sobriety and connection with the Lord. It was like I was reliving my past experiences and getting reminded of how much the Lord has renewed me and changed me. It was difficult to face the bad times and be reminded but it was necessary to do. 

I met a man at the homeless shelter and I encouraged him to get sober and he ended up disappearing later and went to a rehab. 

For weeks I read the bible and went around the streets encouraging and asking the Lord to lead me and trying to have conversations with people as I was nursing a bad sinus infection. I found a group of Christians that were being discipled by a man that didn't seem to have any fruit of the spirit or atleast was too prideful and was grieving it. I am not sure. He ended up tearing down his disciples and it just seemed odd. I befriended one of them that was suffering the most and encouraged him to follow Matthew 18 and stand up for himself if he felt he was being sinned against. 

I ended up getting in the Sober living house and everything went very well. I was put in a room with a Gentleman that Loves Jesus very much and needed to be refreshed and reinvigorated by me specifically to get him into Talking to God all day again. His name is Richard. We had a great time.

Then I decided one day to further my chats with this woman I met online that I had prophesied to and pursue a relationship. Love blossomed almost immediately as we had been talking for 2 months purely about Jesus and God and not hitting on each other. However, the relationship soured very quickly but the Lord was still working on both of us and using this crash course relationship to shine his light on both of our extreme traumas in Loving relationships.

He used her to open my heart up that I had shut up for 20 years. I am now actively allowing him inside that trauma that I had been covering up for so many years and it is nice and freeing. 

He also anointed me to pray for people and their pain will go away if it is his will. He has approved it to about 10 people so far online and in person. I am not sure what the reasons are for why he wont heal people as he healed one person one day and then did not allow the pain to go away the next day on the same person. 

I get the idea that I need to ask and confirm if I should pray for that person. So that I understand that It is not coming from me and that he is the one in control and it is for His glory. 

It is astounding to me when it happens but it seems to be not so shocking to the individuals that receive the healing. They get so peaceful and matter of fact. Its like they expected it to happen or maybe the glory of the Lord is keeping them peaceful. I am not sure.

I have started to have more faith that the Lord can actually speak to me and give me revelation. I started talking to him and receiving feedback. I say “Speak Lord for your servant is listening” just like Samuel did as a kid. Then I get either a sentence or 2 about what is on my heart or a trial I am facing. Or I get a movie image in my head. It is absolutely wonderful. 

I still am having doubt problems but even if the Lord is not actually talking all the time…I know for sure HE IS WITH ME.

He will help me discern the difference between my internal monologue, the enemy and His voice. 

Praise the Lord!!!